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I opened the printer and looked inside. Some people said that Tracey was just there for show and that she didn't do anything. I knew that wasn't true, a girl that did nothing wouldn't break as many things as she did. Part of her problem was that she tried to fix things rather than let someone else do it. Inside the cover was a small, smudged toner fingerprint. A side-glance at her hands showed the toner on her fingers. It was time to have some fun."D..... did you t....touch anything T...Tracy?" I stuttered looking puzzled."No!" she said, loudly, shaking her head. Her eyes opened wide and she peered at me worriedly. "Why?" I...I don't understand it," I said, "t....there seems to be a p..part missing?"Her eyes got even wider. "Part missing?" Y...yes," I nodded, "the main polarizing element...... it's g..gone!"I started to look around the printer. "I..it's just g..gotta be h..here someplace, just gotta!"I started moving things about on the desk near the printer."You, check the floor. . you know, the good stuff!"Oh Hell, she came out swinging, and I wondered why I ever imagined this was a good idea. I was hoping for something like "Favorite Hostess snack cake?" "But honesty is the best policy," words never said by a male the history of time, so I began my sad tale. "Her name was Zoey, and it lasted two tumultuous years." Now, why did it end?" She continued the interrogation, rubbing her hands together in joyful anticipation. Slipping into my patented delaying tactic, I hopped out of bed to make our brunch, a Spam and sausage gravy Hot Pocket. Returning to her, she glanced first at the steaming entree then at me and in her cheesiest British accent bellowed, "But I don't like Spam (knowing all too well that any Python reference reduced me to Silly Putty in her hands.) Then for the next thirty minutes, we discussed how a Hot Pocket could be scalding hot on each end but yet be as frozen as Trump's heart in the center. We reached no viable explanation."So...why did.
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